SMILE AGAIN

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Date: 9.12.2015

Once in a while,
you enter my thoughts,
disrupt my concentration.
What are you plotting?
Say it.

Words that I can't withdraw,
guilt that I can't erase,
faults that I can't amend,
memories that I can't eradicate.
Shadows from my past,
waltzing in my eyes,
haunting me endlessly.

My words stabbed one,
​my actions left another,
with an eternal scar,
unceasing hatred.

And so I ran,
away from myself,
into the downpour,
soaked in liquid,
rain or tears,
both or neither,
I don't really know.

I just really wanted to smile,
free of regretful words,
when my guilt is non-existence,
faults from yesterday,
only with memories to reminisce.

I beg for your forgiveness,
and your permission,
for me to smile again.

I wish some things could just fade away.

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